Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Well here I am trying out this blog thing. I used to keep a journal when I was younger. It had gotten into the hands of some people that I had rather not known my deepest secrets. That is when I threw it away and haven't had a journal since. So why am I blogging now? Especially when it is posted for anyone to see? Well, I am older, and would like to think a little wiser, and not as insecure as I was way back then. As I have gotten older I have learned that the things about myself that I believed made me different, made me less normal then others , I wanted to keep secret are now the same things that bothered most everyone I meet. It is comforting to know that your not the only one. And that is but one of the many things I have learned. I am still learning with each passing day. My children have taught me more about myself then anything. Being a mother is the greatest gift. And I have been blessed with 4 absolutely amazing boys. I give my children partial credit for saving my life, the other part belonging to GOD. If it weren't for having my children I would have stayed on a road of self-destruction, and quite possibly not even be here to babble on as I am. I changed for my children. Not because I wanted to at the time, but because I knew I had to for their sakes. I didn't have all 4 at that time, but the years have passed by, and more children have been born. I sometimes stop to look at where I came from and where I am now. I am liking who I am now and wouldn't go back for nothing in this world. Ironic to think that I didn't want to change, yet I didn't like who I was. Now that I am changed, and still changing, I like myself more then I ever have. I am still growing and changing, and at this rate one day I may even LOVE myself.